Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize