the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
