I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
