garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
