We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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