i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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