i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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