Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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