he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
