we're blogging at a bar
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize