just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
