he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
