my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize