thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
