"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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