That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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