We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
