At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
