Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
