Plan B is the new Plan A
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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