I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
