He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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