get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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