your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
