First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
