I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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