that's an acceptable place to lick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
