wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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