Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
