im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
