I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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