Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
