I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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