just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Me. At least after what I've been through.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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