He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
