Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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