Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She needs sedatives and a leash
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize