Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I will pee on everything he values.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
