So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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