yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
