just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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