I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
