Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The air taste purple.
Randomize
