one might say we're banned from that church
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize