i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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