the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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