you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
