why didn't you poke me back
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize