my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Life without a bra equals bliss.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
