it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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