i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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