careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
