if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
