I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
