Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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