that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize