summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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